The Fear of the Father
by Reni-Maniac
Summary: Just what did this last scene of "The Change in the Game" leave us with? Booth centric piece on what it all means.


Disclaimer: No one you know belongs to me. I only borrowed them for a night.  
>This is a one-shot and a spur of the moment thing not betaed. So all the mistakes you find are mine.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Father<strong>

"I'm… I'm pregnant… you're the father."

Bones watched as Booth's face changed from surprise to pure happiness. It was the smile that told her that everything would be alright. It was the light in his eyes that led her to believe that they were going to figure everything out.

'You're the father.' She wanted him to be part of the baby's life. Part of her life. The worry she had felt moments before, the one Booth had taken for worry about little Michael, was suddenly gone. There was no rational explanation about it. All the problems where still there, all the things to address. But with Booth's confidence showing in his face Brennan knew that at least for the moment they didn't matter.

She moved closer to him, reached out for him. There now was a link between them, stronger than anything they'd ever had before. A part of him and a part of her slowly growing. Brennan felt Booth take her hand and squeeze it tenderly.

"Bones," he said softly.

* * *

><p>"Bones," Booth repeated, "wake up." They were seated in Booth's car. He had leaned over and both taken her hand and gently nudged her to get her attention.<p>

Slowly Brennan opened her eyes and found herself looking into her partner's eyes. "What?"

"You napped off on the drive."

"Oh." Bones looked outside to find they were parked in front of her place. Everything still felt so real. She looked down to find her hand still resting in his on her leg. After a moment's hesitation Brennan asked, "Would you like to come up for a bit?"

Booth nodded. "Sure."

"You know that you mumble in your sleep?" Booth asked when Brennan placed two glasses of soda on the table in front of them.

It made her stop dead in her motions. Too fresh was the memory of her dream. What if he heard what she said? How would he react? Would it be bad if he heard? Bones turned her head to look at her friend waiting.

When Booth had watched Brennan prepare the two glasses from the couch he had wondered whether he should tell her about what he had heard. He looked at her and asked himself whether it was finally time to get everything in the open. To take this one final step. She came back over and Booth still wasn't sure. But before he could do anything about it, the question was out in the open and his best friend, the woman he loved looked at him expectantly. He waited a heartbeat or two, his thoughts racing each other in his head. He wasn't even sure whether her dream was about him. He'd never even heard her mentioning his name. All he really heard was "I'm pregnant." Then a pause that made him think he imagined things, followed by these four little worlds that made his head spin. "You're the father." But then again, he wasn't aware of anybody else in her life and they had moved forward quite a bit lately.

"I couldn't make anything out. You know, with the car noise and everything." Booth answered reaching for his glass and avoiding Bones's eyes.

He thought he heard her breathing a quick sigh of relief before she placed herself next to him on the couch.

"That was a pretty amazing day today," Booth said.

"Yeah, it was. Angela and Hodgins, they looked so happy."

"Well Bones, they just had a baby. It's a great thing. It's the happiest day of their lives."

"I know," Bones replied. "It just felt so strange. Their whole lives are changing."

"And they're embracing it. These are Angela and Hodgins, Bones. Can you imagine them not enjoying it every step of the way? There's no moment that comes close to the moment you first hold your newborn child."

Bones just nodded. Life was about to change for everyone in her little circle of friends, not just the new parents.

"I better get going." Booth got up from the couch and walked to the door.

Brennan followed him and just when he had his hand on the handle, she said in a low voice, "Angela said it was beautiful. That it was wonderful."

Booth turned back around and stepped close to her. "You're going to experience it, Tempe," he said wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. "I know you will."

'You're the father.' The words kept repeating in his head. 'And I will going to be there,' Booth thought as he inhaled the scent of her hair and felt her heartbeat against his chest.

"Thank you." Brennan snuggled closer to her friend, her face resting against his neck.

They stood like this for a long moment, both reluctant to let go.

"Try not to think too much about it Bones, just give it time," Booth eventually said. He gave her a last squeeze, then let go of her and went to the door again. He let himself out and closed the door behind him while Brennan still stood motionless.

* * *

><p>For a minute Booth just silently sat in his car, thinking back to half an hour ago. And from there his thoughts quite effortlessly moved forward into the future. He saw the door in the hospital open, saw Hodgins come out of the room with his newborn son. Only that this time it wasn't Hodgins, it was himself. He saw Seeley Booth cradling a baby and looking at his family and friends, a happy smile on his face. He craved for that moment.<p>

Eventually he turned the key while with the other hand he pressed speed dial on his cell.

"Hey, I know it's late, but is he still up?" Booth asked once the line got picked up.

"Hi. Yeah, just a second."

"Hi, daddy," Parker suddenly said.

Booth eased to a stop at a red light and said, "Hello buddy, how was your day?"

He kept talking to his son all the way back to his apartment and when they finally hang up, he'd been home for close to fifteen minutes. Booth put the phone down, got rid of his jacket, went to the kitchen where he popped a beer and dropped down on the couch. His eyes fell on the row of stadium seats he and Bones had brought up to his apartment. They now stood on the side wall of his living room. He remembered when they were first placed in the middle of the room and Bones and he had sat on them having dinner. He also remembered burning those pieces of paper. He wondered what date she had put down. Something in the near future? Something years onwards? Anything close to the date he put down? What was he supposed to do if his date went by without anything happening? Was he to assume that it wasn't to be, that his wish wasn't granted? Should he go for it anyway? What did Brennan's words do about the whole situation? Booth was aware that while Bones didn't always let on to her feelings, especially not in front of others, she was still deeply touched by what her best friend just experienced this afternoon. And he knew for a fact that she also wanted to feel like that, that within the last year she had come to the realization that a baby wasn't just something to give your genes to, but somebody you'd be connected to for all your life.

Leaving his half finished beer on the table Booth went to his bedroom.

_It broke his heart to see her doubting herself. He knew better than anyone the way she had come these past years. It made it all the more harder for him to accept how at times she still thought of herself as being cold._

_Booth reached for her hand and pulled her down onto the bed with him. "Come here. No, no, Bones, you got that all wrong, alright? You got it all wrong." How could he make her believe that Vincent's words weren't meant for her? That he was just pleading with anybody or anything to save him?_

_"But if there was a god, then he would have let Vincent stay here with us," Bones pleaded._

_"That's not how it works."_

_Booth watched as Bones tried to wrap her mind around the fact that Vincent was gone and that nothing was going to bring him back. He held on to her hand, trying to make her feel his love and support when all he really wanted to do was just to reach out and hold her._

_And then there it was, "Could you just…?" Her question trailed off into silence. But Booth knew just what Bones was asking for. Something they both needed. He wrapped his arms around her. They fell back onto the bed while Booth softly mumbled, "Yeah, that's why I'm here. I'm right here. Always."_

_He just held her. Listened to her tears and her breathing._

_Booth wasn't sure how long he had held her when her tears finally subsided and her breathing evened out. Her head still rested on his chest and he gently kissed her hair. Despite the circumstances that initially brought them there Booth couldn't help but marvel at the feeling of holding Bones in his arms. It felt so good._

_Too good maybe. He was starting to imagine things. He could have sworn that Brennan's hand had just rubbed over his chest. Booth mentally shook his head to get off the image when he again felt movement. This time he looked down and found Bones looking at him. In the emerging light of the morning he could see her eyes still red from the earlier crying. Now they were steadily locked onto his. She nodded her head almost imperceptibly. He felt the movement more than he saw it. He raised his head slightly while Brennan slowly moved upwards. Their lips met. The kiss was slow and timid at first, both of them still unsure of the moment. But when neither of them backed away it intensified. Brennan's hand moved upwards to cradle the back of Booth's head while he pressed her body closer to his. His heart picked up a beat or two, racing against hers that Booth felt beating against his chest._

_Booth started to move his kisses to the rest of her face, returning to her lips regularly. He'd longed for this for so long he was going to savor every moment of it. Their hands roamed each other's bodies. He rolled them over so that Bones came to lie beneath him. He moved himself slightly up, wanting to look at her face. Booth found her eyes shining. She looked up at him as if all the trouble of the world could wait while they were together. It was then that his heart broke a second time that night._

_They were doing the right thing for all the wrong reasons. And Booth knew that this time he wanted to do everything right. He moved himself further off of her and rolled onto his back, starring at his ceiling._

_"Booth?" Bones whispered coming closer._

_"I'm sorry, Bones. I can't."_

_"Why?"_

_Her hand was still on his chest. He felt her warmth through his shirt. "Because," he hesitated. How could he explain? Would she understand? "Because, we waited for so long it should be about us. This isn't about us, this about Vincent. This about you and me hurting."_

_Brennan moved her hand away and sat up. Somehow it left a chilly spot on his chest. "You really think so?"_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"I think you're right," Bones answered and Booth believed her. She had come a long way. "I'm thankful for you being here." She turned around and took his hand to give it a reassuring squeeze._

Booth looked at the bed and wondered what could have gone different if they hadn't stopped that night. Maybe she would have said the words for real, making him the happiest man on earth. Or maybe it would have broken them apart, would have put an awkward strain on their already fragile relationship. He would never know. The only thing Booth did know was that with their agreement about sex being all about them, their relationship had made a step forward. Being around each other felt easy and light.

* * *

><p>The next morning Booth woke with a nagging thought. During the night a dream had spun in his head that made sleep restless and had him up at the dawn of day.<p>

What if what Brennan had said wasn't only a dream, but her subconsciousness working out a way to tell him the truth? I knew how much Bones wanted a baby. What if she went and used his sperm and now was afraid to tell him?

Looking at himself in the mirror Booth said out loud, "She would never do that." Not anymore. She knew that having his baby was not about just her. It was about him as well. No way.

But the thought wouldn't leave him. And it pained him that it didn't.

Later, staring at the monitor in his office, he thought about calling the sperm bank. He could inquire whether any of his donation had been used. But calling them felt like going behind Bones' back. And anyway, he was sure that nothing had been used. If only there wasn't this tiny voice in the back of his head that kept on asking.

Sighing Booth finally locked his computer and went out. He should get his mind occupied with other things. He would go see Sweets about one of his cases. Catching murderers always blocked out everything.

"You seem awfully happy this morning, Sweets," Booth greeted when he entered the shrink's office.

"I guess yesterday still hasn't worn off. Wasn't it just awesome to see this little guy?"

Booth smiled at the enthusiastic younger man. It was amazing how much he could feel with his friends. And for a second there Booth worried about what Sweets would act like if he would father a child of his own. He'd probably have to take a valium not to go bouncing off the floor. But he did have a point.

"I hate to come bouncing in with work at this point then," Booth said.

Sweets held out his hand to take the file Booth brought. "What have you got for me?"

While the psychologist read through the case file Booth sat down in his usual place. Almost immediately his thoughts drifted off to last night's waiting room. From there it was only a small step into the car and to Brennan's place. "You're the father." What if it was for real? Didn't he have a right to know? But was he even sure that Bones was referring to him? What if there was somebody else in her life that he didn't know about? And she was having that man's child. No, there was nobody else. Bones would have told him. She always had. It was him she was talking to. Booth was sure about that. But that still left the question about his sperm donation.

"Listen, Sweets. There's this case where a man and a woman agreed on him donating his… his sperm and her using it. But before she could do so, they split up. Now the man fears that she still went ahead with the… ahm… procedure. Would he be right to call up the bank and ask whether they used any of his donation?"

"What case does this pertain to? Not this one I guess."

"No, completely different one," Booth waved him off. "So, is he right?"

Sweets looked at Booth for a moment thinking. "Assuming that they've know each other for quite a while…"

"How do you figure that?"

"Well, you don't ask just anybody to father your child. So they must have been either a couple or very close friends." He looked at Booth before he continued. "And given the fact that they are friends, I think you really should just ask Dr. Brennan, Agent Booth." Sweets had a hard time suppressing the smile that wanted to form when he saw his friend's surprised face. But it wasn't really all that hard to figure it out. While the whole sperm donation business wasn't all that seldom anymore, he just happened to know that none of the cases Booth worked right now involved any such circumstances.

Booth jumped up after hearing Sweets' words. "No, no, this isn't about me and Bones. This is a case, I told you."

"Alright, Booth. But the guy really should talk to her first. Everything else will complicate matters."

"Okay, I will tell him that." And with that he headed out of Sweets' office.

"What about this profile?" Sweets called after him.

"I gonna pick it up at noon."

* * *

><p>Sweets was right, Booth had to know for sure. And he wasn't going to put it off any longer either. He went straight to his car and drove to the lab.<p>

"Morning Booth," Brennan greeted him when he walked on the platform. "Do we have a new case?"

"No. Could I talk to you? In your office?"

"Sure. Go ahead, I finish this up any be right there."

It took twenty minutes for Bones to finish up whatever she had been doing. Booth had tried to patiently wait in one of the armchairs. When she entered he stood up and they met in the middle of the room, an arm length apart. Bones looked at him curiously.

"Bones, you know the other night? When I said I didn't understand a thing you said in your sleep?" He paused for a moment, looking at her. "I lied."

Brennan just nodded, her face serious all of a sudden.

"You said that 'You're the father'."

"I want you to be," Brennan answered all the questions Booth didn't dare to ask.

"When?" He stepped closer to her.

Bones leaned into him and just before her lips touched his she said, "As soon as possible."

** The End **

* * *

><p>So this is my take on the last scene, despite all the rumors out there.<p>

Please let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.


End file.
